Cella Dwella, Yo

After enduring 15-too-many spring training games on ESPN and countless corny Buster Olney and Tim Kurkjian jokes on prematurely-aired Baseball Tonight episodes, Opening Day 2011 is upon us. STOP! Before you assume this post will include my predictions for the season, you are wrong. Because it's not hard to predict a cellar-dwelling finish from the Mariners... again. However, Ichiro will be fun to watch steal bases and hit .330, and King Felix will be a joy to watch make hitters look foolish on that slider once every 5 days or so. It's hard to have an opinion on other teams from a Seattle standpoint, seeing as every other team in the league is better. Except for the Pittsburgh Pirates. It's just plain sad to see fans waving the Terrible Towel at Pirates games. Your baseball team is so bad that you have to implement another successful franchise's staple just to make the game seem relevant. Youch. But enough ragging on the Pirates. Like they need another doubter. I think I'm just looking for an outlet for all my depression that lies in the M's. But if I have learned one thing from Opening Day over the years, it's that every team gets a fresh start. Yep, we are currently tied with the fresh-from-a-World-Series Texas Rangers. Suuhhweeeeeeet! Whelp, back to reading about the October Revolution of 1917. If only the Mariner's offensive lineup had the fervor of the Bolsheviks. Damn.

Shoot Shoot Shoot-em-up

I thought I’d diverge from the usual sports rant about some player or team, and instead make a little posty post about videogames for once. After all, it does say this blog includes videogames in the description, and the last thing I would ever want to do would be to mislead my readers….. Anyways, today I saw an ad for the videogame Homefront. This game is a first person shooter (the human player plays as if they saw through the eyes of the virtual character, and holds a gun as if you would in real life) and the story is based around the North Koreans invading the United States in the year 2027. The game was written by the author of Red Dawn- go figure. I realize that many people who do not play videogames are not used to these drastic plots that revolve around superpowers invading superpowers, etc. I will have you know however that this is kind of like the 9^th land before time movie- we’ve had enough already. Every shooter since the Halo series emerged in 2001 has been centered around some sort of peace-keeping mission where the main character must stop an invasion/nuclear holocaust/world war III. Examples include Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, where Russia invades the United States, Battlefield 2142, where the European Union faces off against a fictional Middle East coalition, and every Medal of Honor game (World War 2)

Interestingly enough, these plots continue to horrify adults, while they continue to incessantly bore gamers worldwide. Personally, I can only storm Washington D.C. and blow up terrorists that had taken over the White House so many times. I am in dire need of something new. Who knows how long it will be until we see the motion sensor gaming devices like the Kinect stage a virtual takeover of the industry. I would love to see a game that used devices like this to totally rewrite the rules that all shooters follow. Playstation has a plastic gun with a sensor in the gun barrel called the “MOVE gun” and I see this as a forward step. I am worried that my Xbox shooters could turn into Time Crisis 4 that we all play at video arcades, with a gun and a screen. The huge think-tanks at Microsoft and Sony need to develop something bigger and better.

On a positive note, there are rumors of a new Xbox system in the works, as Microsoft lists job openings on its website for “graphic and hardware architect” and a “hardware verification engineer”. I can only see this as a possibility that a new system is on its way. YAY!

Born in the USA

Being back in this country never felt so good. Well not really but that's alright. It was a bit of a dismal trip in terms of sports, as the Sounders fell 1-0 to the Galaxy and we decided not to fork over upwards of 80 dollars for Canucks tickets. On the flip-side, seeing Donovan and Beckham play in person was pretty cool, and watching the 6-nations rugby tournament in an Irish pub with foreigners was an experience all its own. Staying in the hostel was also quite the experience. It was a melting pot of Irish, Australian, British and American travelers all in one place at one time. The smack talk between the Irish and British continued on constantly between the people we met. Luckily the American boys were spared. However we did have to endure a barrage of "we bail you out into every war you get yourselves into" and "oh, Libya? didn't see that one coming..." When it was all said and done however, it was a pretty fun trip. We even got our culture on and visited the Vancouver art museum (without paying the admission fee, I might add) Here are a few pictures from the trip.

                                                                   March to the Match

                                                                        Kick-off

Spring Break!

With finals week over, my fellow ducks and I are migrating north for a few weeks of needed relaxation, albeit we had the shortest finals week of all time. That being said, finishing finals on Monday may be the weirdest feeling ever. Let’s get one thing straight however: I’m not complaining! As we venture up I5- I’ll give you a sneak peek into my lavish lifestyle and my plans for spring break: Before bar-hopping in Vancouver, we will start our break off in Seattle and will be attending the MLS season opener between our beloved Sounders and those pesky LA Galaxy. Wait, that didn’t make sense- let me try again: between our beloved Sounders and THAT LA Galaxy. Okay. Hold on a second. That didn’t sound correct either.

I’ve never understood the singular, abstract mascots that have become quite main stream in the MLS, the WNBA, and even the NBA.

Examples: Thunder, Magic, Fire, Dynamo, Union, Spark, Earthquakes…. I could go on and on. Who started this!? I would like to meet this person, and deliver a swift kick to their groin region. These names are not only annoying for journalists and bloggers to attempt to write about, but also not intimidating in the least. (Also a tad-bit socially insensitive- AKA the San Jose Earthquakes.. I don’t think they will see their Asian fan base grow this year.. too soon? ) Intimidation isn’t the only factor in choosing a mascot, I get that. Prime examples are the Knickerbockers and the White Sox. But at least these squads have history behind the names.

This gives me two theories about this phantom creator of weird mascot names: 1. They are trying to bring back the abstract names of old, with inspiration in teams created before 1900. Or 2. They are on a plethora of prescription drugs, most likely administered to them by my sellout physician father- Dr. Goodwin. In any case, I guess new franchises and their names will never cease to make me laugh. And seeing as how Seattle won’t be getting a new NBA team any time soon, I don’t have to worry about one of my teams being dubbed something preposterous. Whew.

And just for the record- My dad doesn’t prescribe prescription drugs to addicts or anything like that… just politicians, philanthropists and professional athletes.

And Happy Birthday to my roommate: Blake Everett Reed. <3 J

Jihad?

The weekend before finals week generally consists of two things: being extremely lazy, and studying. However, this finals weekend has been alarmingly packed full of activities!  Lupe Fiasco's new album titled LASERS dropped this past week, and has been filling my brain with Muslim based subtleties via rap lyrics. (I'm fighting off the urge to defect to Iran as I speak) "Popular" artists that go triple platinum off of the impulse buys of eighth grade girls on i-tunes seem to dominate the music market, but the indie/underground-hip hop genre is growing faster than ever. Rappers including Lupe, Kid Cudi, Blue Scholars and Macklemore are becoming prevalent in the music world, and while they will most likely not surpass J-Beebs or Gaga, they can provide a more enriched source of music for those of us sick of auto-tune and squeaky voices.

Speaking of squeaky and annoying voices- the whiny owners and players of the NFL failed to meet an agreement. NO FOOTBALL! The NFL lockout reminds me of that couple in high school that dated on and off for all 4 years. Getting together and breaking up constantly is the only form of communication they know. For everyone else, it was just annoying because you knew they would make up and go out to Red Lobster for dinner by the weekend. Substitute the chain restaurant for billions of dollars and, more or less, it's the same thing.

That's it for tonight. Time to start up the Netflix and watch some Californication!

Gruden, Green Bay, Giants and Gamecocks > Gaddafi

The other day I was asked why I don't blog about things that actually matter, such as the political unrest in Libya or the happenings in the Wisconsin senate. Today I pondered why if I go to the library with my computer, I spend more time on Facebook/Twitter/msnbc.com than doing homework. After some (by some I mean minimal) thought, I came up with just a fantastic formula: Sports are greater than Politics, and Politics are barely greater than homework.
Now to avoid the onslaught of "you take democracy for granted" and "you are just too lazy to follow politics", I would like to say that I do follow politics, and I believe that my civic duty as an American is to stay informed on issues whether they interest me or not. So up yours, haters.
The reason I would rather talk about sports is, let's be honest, if you are going to listen to me, you would rather listen to my opinions on sports than Gaddafi's actions in Libya. CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and even Comedy Central serve as mediums for talking heads to squabble over what is right and wrong, and since they are nationally televised and I am not, I stick to sports.
And homework just goes last.. with no explanation needed.
My political 2 cents for: the day/ever
I wholeheartedly believe that Jon Gruden, The Green Bay Packers, The San Fransisco Giants (New York Giants too), or the South Carolina Gamecocks could do a better job of running Libya than Gaddafi.

Now back to, you guessed it, homework. Gotta love dead week.

What's a catamount?

As I sit here watching the plethora of games that ESPN3.com has to offer, my attention has been diverted to my beloved Vermont Catamounts who are battling for the prestigious American East Conference title. For those real college basketball fans out there, you may remember the Catamounts from the NCAA tourney in 2005 when they beat the 4 seeded Syracuse Orangemen.
Cue Dick Vitale: UPSET CITY BABY!
This brings me to my question of the day- is parity good or bad for sports?
Certainly we see close fought battles between 4 and 13 seeds in the NCAA tournament all the time. The paradox which arises here has baffled me for quite some time: Is it better for a good team to get upset early in the tournament (to help create buzz and excitement) or is it better for that higher ranked team to make a more substantial run deep into the tournament and face other top teams in the nation for more highlighted and star-studded matchups?
College Basketball has always been an upset-driven sport, and will most likely remain that way for a very long time. Therefore one might say that parity pilots the entire basketball season, as no game or team can go overlooked early or late in the season.
Disparity in sports is extremely prevalent in leagues such as the MLB and NBA. High salary caps in the NBA and literally no salary cap in the MLB allow for teams with the deepest pockets to assemble star-studded squads capable of utter domination. Examples of this are the New York Yankees, the Boston Red Sox, the Philadelphia Phillies, the Miami Heat and the New York Knicks.
While having the best players does not always translate to success on the court or field, (*cough.. Miami Heat.. *cough) the ability for general managers and owners to compile super-teams is enough to make a massive difference in the league overall.
Now I am not saying that money and money alone dictates the level of parity in any one league. However, these leagues are businesses. Businesses run by powerful characters in our global economy worth billions and billions of dollars. When teams have resources that others do not, it can severely polarize the leagues in which these teams play.
That being said, when these teams do succeed on the playing field over and over, the "dynasty" of a team can be a very dynamic storyline to follow. A storyline worth far more than a single upset in college basketball.
Personally, I think it comes down to personal preference from sports fan to sports fan. If you were a Yankees fan in the mid 90's to late 2000's, of course disparity benefits you. If you are a Davidson or Vermont basketball fan, then you live for the upset. Speaking of upsets, I cannot wait for the Ducks to make a big big push in the Pac-10 tourney. I'm talking semifinals baby. Mark my words- you heard it here first!

Where there's smoke, there's fire

This last Tuesday March 1st marked the beginning of a  "ohhhh shhhii.." type moment for any Oregon fan. On Colin Cowherd's nationally syndicated radio show, The Herd, Cowherd foreshadowed a big big recruiting-violation type story in college football saying that a major program will be "outed" for its various recruiting violations.
Sure enough, the letters O-R-E-G-O-N were on the front page of ESPN.com on Thursday morning. To spare my (few) readers a drawn out explanation of what is being probed. (Hehe, I said "probed") Click Here.
By sparing my paranoia as to what might happen, my analysis pretty much comes down to a few questions:
1. Why was Willie Lyles paid a massive lump sum AFTER Lache signed with Oregon?
2. Is this payment ($25,000) an abnormally large amount for a powerhouse such as Oregon to pay a man? Other coaches say around five thousand dollars is usual, but this sum is not unheard of.
3. HOW SCREWED ARE WE?
In the words of one of my roommates, Where there's smoke, there's fire. I think we are in for a bit more than a slap on the wrist from the NCAA. But whether Oregon is actually in the wrong remains to be seen. All of this is a bit sad considering the character of the student athlete who is in the middle of all of this. Lache Seastrunk has a great reputation here at the University of Oregon. He is a non-drinker and non-smoker, attends church and is involved with his youth group, and loves his madden 11. A student athlete who stays out of trouble with the law and goes about his business in a professional manner in the classroom seems to almost be a rarity with athletes at perennial powerhouses. (exhibit A: Cam Newton)

Top 10 worst jobs

Upon realizing how terrible Roger Goodell's job seems to be with the NFL labor negotiations (read: lockout) I decided to list the top 10 worst jobs I could think of

1. New York Mets accountant: Whoever this may be, they are probably pretty busy right about now.
2. Carlos Zambrano's therapist: All I would be able to think about is that poor poor Gatorade machine as my head.
3. Alexander Ovechkin's dentist: Talk about a dentist's worst nightmare.. Everytime a tooth is replaced, three or four are lost.
4. Rex Ryan's Personal Trainer: If he has one, that is
5. San Jose Earthquake's Advertising/PR: They play at a college field and they are financially dependent on their corporate sponsorship. need I say more?
6. University of Oregon Wrestling Coach: (Too soon?)
7. Craig Sager's Tailor: Yiiiikkeessss... http://youbeenblinded.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Craig-Sager-Suit.jpg
8. University of Oregon Stunts and Gymnastics Coach: 1. not a sport. 2. newsflash: nobody cares... STILL.
9. Madison Square Garden Logistics Crew: Hockey Rink, Basketball Court, Tennis Court, Rodeo, repeat
10. And how could I almost forget: Andrei Kirilenko's stylist: Yeah, whoever you are, you are failing miserably http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/504842/andrei-kirilenko.jpeg