With finals week over, my fellow ducks and I are migrating north for a few weeks of needed relaxation, albeit we had the shortest finals week of all time. That being said, finishing finals on Monday may be the weirdest feeling ever. Let’s get one thing straight however: I’m not complaining! As we venture up I5- I’ll give you a sneak peek into my lavish lifestyle and my plans for spring break: Before bar-hopping in Vancouver, we will start our break off in Seattle and will be attending the MLS season opener between our beloved Sounders and those pesky LA Galaxy. Wait, that didn’t make sense- let me try again: between our beloved Sounders and THAT LA Galaxy. Okay. Hold on a second. That didn’t sound correct either.
I’ve never understood the singular, abstract mascots that have become quite main stream in the MLS, the WNBA, and even the NBA.
Examples: Thunder, Magic, Fire, Dynamo, Union, Spark, Earthquakes…. I could go on and on. Who started this!? I would like to meet this person, and deliver a swift kick to their groin region. These names are not only annoying for journalists and bloggers to attempt to write about, but also not intimidating in the least. (Also a tad-bit socially insensitive- AKA the San Jose Earthquakes.. I don’t think they will see their Asian fan base grow this year.. too soon? ) Intimidation isn’t the only factor in choosing a mascot, I get that. Prime examples are the Knickerbockers and the White Sox. But at least these squads have history behind the names.
This gives me two theories about this phantom creator of weird mascot names: 1. They are trying to bring back the abstract names of old, with inspiration in teams created before 1900. Or 2. They are on a plethora of prescription drugs, most likely administered to them by my sellout physician father- Dr. Goodwin. In any case, I guess new franchises and their names will never cease to make me laugh. And seeing as how Seattle won’t be getting a new NBA team any time soon, I don’t have to worry about one of my teams being dubbed something preposterous. Whew.
And just for the record- My dad doesn’t prescribe prescription drugs to addicts or anything like that… just politicians, philanthropists and professional athletes.
And Happy Birthday to my roommate: Blake Everett Reed. <3 J
Dr. Goodwin could not be reached for comment.
ReplyDeleteDr Goodwin's nurse, however, was rumored to have texted the following:
"Your father says no more of the blue pills, John. Just take the little white one once a day."